


I'll Find Myself By Myself, but Maybe We All Need a Little Help

by doctornemesis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: tfa_kink, Dancing, Drinking, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Bar, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Relationship(s), Underage Drinking, Vaginal Fingering, Women Being Awesome, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:59:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornemesis/pseuds/doctornemesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey's first time in a gay bar goes a lot differently than expected. What starts off as an awkward first meeting quickly turns into something much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Find Myself By Myself, but Maybe We All Need a Little Help

**Author's Note:**

> 1.) I wrote this as a fill for the tfa_kink. I, of course, have no recollection as to where it was posted. I'm going to attempt to find it again, but if you're the anon who so kindly prompted this, I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> 2.) I do not own Star Wars, nor any of the characters here mentioned. 
> 
> 3.) Any and all mistakes are mine.

 

Rey took a step back, studying herself intently as she posed in various manners in front of her bathroom mirror, feeling silly for the most part. She took a glance out her bathroom window, a series of unpacked boxes hindering most of her view, the soft, rich orange of the sun beginning to fade, the night settling in. Rey sighed as she took the black beanie she had cast aside on the counter and placed it back on her head; it was for good luck, and she was going to need all the luck she could get.

 

Rey was nervous. No, she was beyond nervous. Rey was terrified.

 

A little over a month had past since she had moved to the city from a small town hundreds of miles away for school and, for the most part, it had been a liberating experience, but there remained one obstacle Rey hadn't yet conquered. A promise she had made to herself so many years ago, when planning for her future had been her only salvation. New Beginnings.

 

A gay bar she had heard about when she first moved into town. A place she had dreamt about ever since. A place where she could not only be herself, but meet others like her as well, and maybe even the _one_.

 

A silly thought, _'the one'_.

 

Rey snorted, readjusting the front of her silver crop top, slapping her exposed belly playfully like a drum before stepping out of her bathroom. The black leather jacket sprawled on her mattress matched the tight leather pants she wore, and so Rey picked it up to put it on, mentally noting to add a bed frame to the long list of things she needed to work towards. Rey's phone which, up until that point, had been concealed under her jacket vibrated as the screen lit up. Rey plopped down onto the mattress, rolling onto her back as she scrolled through her notifications, smiling at a text a friend from back home had sent her. Rey eagerly texted them back.

 

“Thanks, Finn, I'm going to need all the positive energy you've got for this,” she muttered to herself, nearly dropping her phone onto her face.

 

Finn and Rey had gone to high school together, and the two had grown inseparable, each holding the others deepest, darkest secrets. Finn had aged out in the system, taking the first opportunity to study abroad where he fell in love with an air force pilot stationed in Germany. Rey, on the other hand, had bounced from one foster home to another, each family taking leave of her until Rey was left all alone.

 

Rey sighed, sitting up as she reached for her boots, putting them on one at a time as her hands trembled. Isolation was Rey's comfort zone; no one could leave if they weren't permitted to enter, but being lonely was a miserable thing, and so she set out from the comfort of her apartment, out into the world she was so afraid of. Rey checked her pockets for the third time in a row, wallet and phone still there.

 

 _'I've got no excuse to turn back now,'_ she thought, eyes to the pavement as she moved against the soft breeze of the night, hands placed into the pockets of her opened jacket.

 

Rey loved it here, the changing of the seasons palpable in the coloring of the trees and the warm days followed by cool nights. The rich forest mountains that formed a natural barrier around the city felt safe and full of life, the large, winding river crisscrossing through the sleepy college town a soothing, whimsical presence. There was nothing like it in the desert.

 

The incline of the hill made her legs burn with the effort, but it was her heart that troubled her the most. The pounding of it pulsed loudly in her ears as the New Beginnings building came clearly into view, nothing like it for miles around. A beacon calling to her with its bright lights and upbeat music, welcoming her home with its pink exterior trimmed with black.

 

It was hard to believe the place used to be a slaughter house, once upon a time.

 

The bouncer, a large, hairy man who towered over her looked down at her identification with a keen eye, searching for any discrepancies. Rey swallowed hard, dimples deep as wells as she tried for her best smile, her mouth feeling incredibly dry. The bouncer made a deep rumbling sound in lieu of actual words, another older man approaching with a handful of yellow and green wrist bands.

 

“Ten dollars, and I'll slap one of these on ya,” the other man said, gray hair slicked back to one side. The vest he wore was worn out with age and rough living, and he smelled wholly of leather.

 

“Oh, yeah. Right,” Rey mumbled, fumbling for her wallet as she produced the cash, handing it over.

 

“This is for you,” he said, taking one of the yellow bands and securing it around her right wrist. “Old enough to dance, but not old enough to drink...and, just in case yellow's not your color, here's a large X written in black sharpie, too. Free of charge.”

 

Rey felt the desire to roll her eyes, but hurried past them with a grumbled, “Thanks,” instead. Her eyes lit up as she entered, stepping into an entirely different world. A galaxy onto itself.

 

There were bodies strewn across the dance floor, men and women enjoying themselves in elaborate costumes against the luminescent lights that shifted colors every couple of seconds. Rey was in awe, stumbling along as she tried to take in all of her surroundings at once. The bar, tucked away from the dance floor in the right corner of the building held a large group of people, all flocking around to get a drink from an older woman who, without a doubt, was the life of the party.

 

She was singing and she was dancing in a glittering red dress, and she had a word for everyone she served, good or bad. Rey felt compelled to move closer to where she was at, never mind the fact she couldn't legally drink. A string of bodies laid before her as she glided through, feeling giddy as women smiled openly at her, their eyes shining and bright, but most of all, _knowing_.

 

Rey grew closer to where she wanted to be, men and women leaving the counter with drinks in their hands, smiles on their faces and laughter on their tongues. Rey wanted so badly to be like them, to feel like they felt in that moment, happy and carefree. Themselves.

 

Rey found herself near the far left side of the counter, watching the bartender work her magic for the crowd. The woman was practically royalty, swimming in their tips and appraisals. Her laugh was infectious, but she ruled with an iron fist, what she said went, and no one argued with her, not even the other staff members.

 

Rey felt her nervousness renew with a vengeance, feeling claustrophobic and intrusive, like she didn't belong. She reached for her phone, hoping to get a hold of Finn when the bartender whistled at her, gaining Rey's attention immediately. One hand on her hip, the other outstretched towards Rey with squat, round glass filled to the brim with a tangerine colored liquid topped off with two cherries pierced through the middle with a short, thin straw.

 

Rey blinked once, and then twice, holding up her right hand to indicate she could not accept whatever it was that was offered to her. “Sorry,” she said, not loud enough to carry over the music.

 

“Well, aren't you honest?” the woman laughed, eyeing her for a moment before turning her attention forwards. “Jess, you sure know how to pick 'em young, don't ya?”

 

The most beautiful woman Rey had even seen appeared almost out of thin air, her beautiful dark hair pinned into a neat bun behind her head. “You make it seem like I'm old, Leia,” she said, winking in Rey's direction as she took the rejected drink in hand, balancing two of the same.

 

Rey blushed, her entire face felt like it had been lit on fire. Instead of walking away, Jess moved closer, setting the drink down in front of Rey as the bartender, _Leia_ , turned a blind eye. Rey could see her more clearly now, and it made her weak in the knees. She was short even in heels, clad in a white, sleeveless lace dress that clung to every inch of her, contrasting against her sun kissed skin.

 

“I'm Jess, by the way,” she said, extending a delicate hand with red painted nails.

 

“Rey,” she blurted out, eagerly taking the other woman's hand into her own, not sure as to when to let go.

 

Jess' nose scrunched up whenever she smiled, and Rey fell in love with the darkness of her twinkling eyes, unable to look away. “Rey. I like it. Simple. Cute. Unique,” she said, pausing to take a sip of her drink. “You from around here?”

 

“No, I just moved here for school.”

 

“Oh, yeah? For what?”

 

“Physics, hopefully with a minor in astronomy,” Rey said, taking a sip of her first adult beverage, and finding that she quite liked it, whatever it was.

 

Jess laughed, and Rey felt panicked. “That sounds awesome! Are you one of those people who's always gazing up at the stars? Wondering what's out there, and how to get to it?” she asked, and Rey felt a rush of relief knowing the other woman didn't find her chosen major boring.

 

“Sort of,” Rey said, brushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “Um, space always seemed a lot more interesting than here.”

 

“You're so cute when you're flustered,” Jess said, finishing her drink as Rey hurried to finish hers, not wanting to seem ungrateful. “Wanna dance?”

 

Rey frowned. “I'm, um...not very good at it,” she admitted, watching as Jess reached over to steal the cherries from her glass.

 

“You don't have to be good,” Jess said, taking hold of Rey's hand as she guided her from the corner they'd been holed up in and out towards the dance floor. “You just have to have fun while doing it!”

 

“I mostly just feel mortified,” Rey said, holding onto Jess for dear life as they passed through a sea of drag queens, all of whom knew Jess on a first name basis and vice versa.

 

“Not with me you won't,” she promised, wrapping her arms around Rey's waist as she swayed her hips to and fro perfectly in sync with the beat of the music. “If you start to feel like you really can't handle it, just tell me, and I promise to get us out of here.”

 

Rey gave a short nod, putting all of her trust into the beautiful woman before her. Rey felt all her hesitation melt away, Jess' sole attention devoted to her and her alone, and it felt like they were the only two who were there, the only two in the universe who mattered. Rey's limbs loosened, body feeling free as Jess guided their movements, keeping them close.

 

Rey lost all track of time, watching as confetti fell from the sky like decorative snow, covering everyone in an array of shimmering paper. A stray piece of glittered paper stuck to the ruby red mauve of Jess' lips, and so Rey made to remove it, fingers brushing against her soft bottom lip. Jess smiled up at her through thick, dark lashes, tilting her chin up so that Rey could have better access.

 

“I'm really hungry, how about we get out of here?” Jess asked, bottom lip tugged between her teeth as though she were the one working through jitters and not the other way around.

 

The two found themselves downhill heading for the nearest fast food joint that served the nuggets Jess so desperately felt she needed. Rey couldn't help but laugh as Jess pulled aside to remove her heels, holding them in one hand as the two journeyed on. The night grew colder still, and Rey noticed as Jess began to rub her arms up and down to try and stay warm.

 

“Here,” she said, removing her jacket. “Take this.” Jess declined at first, intent to freeze to death out of sheer stubbornness before Rey refused to continue on until the other woman accepted.

 

“You're lucky you're cute,” Jess said, flapping her arms as the sleeves of Rey's jacket were entirely too long for her. “You also smell really good, by the way.”

 

Rey could feel the tips of her ears tinge pink. “Thank you,” she said as Jess locked arms with her. Rey didn't mind that she could potentially develop hypothermia, enjoying Jess' company.

 

“I want all the nuggets you can give me, please,” Jess said, speaking into the microphone as the two of them stood in the drive thru. Rey laughed, feeling completely ridiculous as cars honked at them. The restaurant itself was closed, but the drive thru remained open all night.

 

“So, ten then?” came a voice from the other side.

 

“Sure, if you're a slave to the corporation,” snorted Jess, laughing as she readjusted the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

 

“What kind of sauce?”

 

“Honey mustard, please and thank you, Wexley!” she cheered, flipping off the minivan that continued to honk at them.

 

“Whatever, Jess. I would say pull forward, but I know you don't have a car.”

 

 

 

“So, what are you going to school for, Jess?” Rey asked, realizing her shyness had robbed her of the opportunity to get to know the other woman better, and she wanted nothing more than to rectify that.

 

Jess, who was more than content to stuff her face with nuggets, looked up and over at Rey as the two walked along the old stone bridge that overlooked the river running fast into the night. “Civil engineering. I want to save the planet, and all that jazz. Or, at least, keep it from getting any shittier,” she said.

 

“That sounds really awesome, Jess.”

 

Jess laughed, tossing her garbage into the designated bin when she got the chance. “Yeah, well, I really didn't want to be a lawyer...or a homemaker,” she added, linking arms with Rey again.

 

“Is that what your parents are?” Rey asked, brows furrowed as she wondered momentarily what it was her biological parents did for an occupation, if they worked at all. If they were even still alive, for that matter...

 

“Yeah, my mom's a real estate lawyer, and my dad used to work, but he got injured on the job when I was little and never went back. Never had to, really. My mom's income was more than enough to support the four of us.”

 

“You have a sibling?”

 

“Yeah, an older brother. Also a lawyer, but not real estate. He's an immigration lawyer which, in my opinion, is a lot more admirable. It's a tough job, and he does a lot of it pro bono. What about you? What do your parents do? Any siblings, or are you an only child?”

 

Rey froze, coming to a sudden halt. Jess jerked back, their arms still intertwined, but it was the look of concern that played out in the darkness of those divine eyes that made Rey feel a touch of guilt, and it killed her to see a practical stranger so worried over someone so insignificant such as herself. Rey looked at her feet, trying to gather her scattered thoughts before turning her attention back up, still hesitant to say anything, but Jess had been so open and honest, and Rey figured she deserved the same back.

 

“I, uh, I don't know if I have any siblings, but I might somewhere, you know? I was put up for adoption when I was a baby. I've never met my birth parents, and I don't know anything about them. I was never formally adopted, either. I've sort of been on my own for as long as I can remember.”

 

Jess stared at her for a long time, brows narrowed like she was trying to solve a puzzle with a missing piece in her head before wrapping her arms around Rey's waist, placing her head upon Rey's shoulder as she hummed softly to herself. “I wish I hadn't ate all my nuggets so I could give you one,” she said, still embracing her.

 

Rey felt herself choke back a laugh, peering down as Jess peered up. “That's okay. They'd be stale by now anyway,” she said with an ear-splitting grin, wanting nothing more than to kiss her.

 

“Well, are you going to kiss me, or am I going to have to be the one who goes for it? Because, I've got to tell you, I feel like we've come close more than...” Jess was silenced by a press of lips on lips, and Rey smiled as the other woman melted against her.

 

Her first, proper kiss.

 

The kiss was nearly ruined; however, by a purse snatcher who had chosen that exact moment to rip Jess' bag from her, dashing off at a rapid pace. Jess let out a series of loud curses, but Rey's legs had taken off on their own accord, chasing the would-be thief as she lunged at him, grabbing a hold of one of their legs, causing them to land face first across the pavement. Jess caught up just in time to hit the assailant over the head with one of her high heels. Rey rolled the thief over, staring down at them with a raised fist, ready to fight back if they tried to get away. Jess hit them again with her shoe.

 

“Ben, really?” she screamed, throwing the heel aside as she continued to slap him with her bare hands. “You knew it was me, you asshole! I am _so_ telling your mom, you sleazeball!”

 

“Wait, you know him?” Rey asked as Jess snatched her purse up from the ground.

 

“His uncle owns New Beginnings. His mom's co-owner, she's the bartender,” Jess said, picking up her shoes.

 

The man, _Ben_ , sat up, a smug smirk etched along his features as he rubbed his wounded face. “Your girlfriend runs pretty fast,” he said, nonchalant about the fact he had just tried to rob someone.

 

“You're damn right she does,” Jess spat, taking hold of Rey's hand, pulling her along as they left him dazed and confused on the pavement.

 

“Girlfriend?” Rey asked, butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

 

“You're such a punk, Ben! Grow up for Christ's sake!” Jess shouted, one last parting shot.

 

“You okay?” Rey asked, they'd been walking in silence for about fifteen minutes now, and it was growing worrisome.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine. He's just a jerk for ruining our night.”

 

“Who says it's ruined?” Rey asked.

 

Jess paused, turning to look back at Rey who had been following diligently behind her. “Rey?” she asked, tugging at the hem of her dress.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Would you like to come back to my dorm?”

 

“Would your roommate mind?”

 

“Who, Zo? No, she's practically not even from this planet. Never home, except to eat all of my pasta.”

 

Rey could have never imagined, in a million years, that she would find herself in another persons dorm room, drinking red wine and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream on a giant orange sofa Jess had saved from being tossed out. Rey studied Jess' quaint little room, pictures of her friends and family tacked up onto the wall. A series of long boxes were tucked under her metal framed bed, filled with cheesy comics from the seventies and eighties that held little to no value save for a few well needed laughs. Rey also found a string of awards ranging from Shaolin Kung Fu to competitive archery, each more impressive than the last.

 

“I've got giant tee-shirts, shorts and pajama pants galore,” Jess said, emerging from her bathroom dressed in a large black tee-shirt, green short-shorts and mismatching knee high socks. “You can take your pick.”

 

Her hair which had been pulled back tight now layered over her shoulder in soft waves, and Rey felt her mouth run dry again. She was absolutely the most beautiful woman Rey had ever seen. Rey wanted nothing more than to keel over and die.

 

“Yours,” Rey said before she could stop herself.

 

Jess laughed so loud that she snorted. “Don't mind my shit-eating grin, I'm just the overly smitten with the largest dork who ever lived,” she said, approaching Rey. “Sit.”

 

Rey did as told, plopping down upon Jess' mattress, heart racing as Jess settled onto her lap, cradling Rey's face in between her hands. Rey tried to think of something clever to say, but found that her words had seemingly run out. Jess pressed their lips together, tasting of mint and something not of this world.

 

“I really like your comforter,” she said, words fumbling together.

 

Jess laughed, pressing their foreheads together. “I thought a space nerd might dig a spiral galaxy,” she said, leaning back she motioned for Rey to lift her arms, taking it upon herself to remove Rey's top.

 

Rey shivered, wishing she had chosen a better bra than the plain black one she wore. The thought vanished as Jess kissed the top of her shoulder, deft fingers working to undo the front closure. One hook, then two.

 

“Off we go,” Jess said, sliding the straps down across Rey's arms as their lips met once more.

 

Jess did away with her own shirt, content and completely at ease with her ever increasing nudity. Rey brought her down for an eager kiss, licking and biting at her bottom lip, wanting to kiss her forever if only she could. Jess slid one of Rey's hands up along her abdomen, aching for her to caress her breasts. Rey was more than happy to oblige, lavishing attention to both with tongue and teeth and suckling mouth.

 

“Oh, shit,” Jess cried out, forcing Rey to lie flat on her back as she worked to undo the button and zipper of her pants. “I want these off. Now.”

 

Leather pants, faux or not, were difficult to remove on a good day. Rey was tempted to set them on fire as she attempted to kick her way out of them, Jess laughing along as she tried to help. Rey kicked them off her feet as Jess slipped out of her shorts with ease, clad in nothing but her socks and boys underwear; Aquaman's symbol, to be exact.

 

“You're the cutest, and I have no clue what I'm doing,” Rey said, a little embarrassed, but more than a little eager.

 

“It's all about communication,” Jess said, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail. “If you like what it is I'm doing, I'll keep doing it until you lose your mind. You don't like what it is I'm doing, tell me and I'll switch to something else that will make you lose your mind. Yeah?”

 

Rey gave a short nod of her head. “Yeah,” she said, stomach flipflopping all over the place.

 

“Good,” Jess said, placing a fleeting kiss to Rey's lips before moving lower.

 

Rey's toes curled as Jess pressed a series of kisses along her jawline, biting and sucking gently at the flesh of her neck, one hand entangled in Rey's hair as the other cupped her right breast, teasing her nipple with playful fingers. Rey cried out as Jess' mouth replaced her hand, tongue flicking over the raised nub of hardened flesh as her hand slid under the band of Rey's panties. Rey could feel Jess smiling against her skin, fingers rubbing teasing circles against the short, coarse hair of her neither region.

 

“Your undies have kitty cats on them,” she said, mouth trailing along Rey's ticklish stomach. “How ironic.”

 

“I like cats,” Rey said, groaning as her fingers threaded their way through Jess' hair absentmindedly as the other woman's mouth trailed lower.

 

Jess, much to Rey's chagrin, pulled away as she sat up, smirking down at her. “You want more?” she asked, eyes heady and laced with lustful craving.

 

“Yes,” Rey answered.

 

“Yes, what?” Jess pressed, her hands sliding up along Rey's inner and outter thighs.

 

“Yes. _Please_.”

 

Jess smiled as she once again reached her fingers under the band of Rey's panties, shoving the material down along Rey's muscular thighs. She threw them across the room before leaning over the edge of her bed, reaching for something tucked away underneath. Rey arched a brow, curious as Jess produced a black and white polka-dotted box.

 

“I keep all my private treasures in this thing...vibrators, lube, weed, my old Pokémon cards,” she said, producing a small vibrator she slipped onto the index finger of her left hand. “The works.”

 

Rey laughed as Jess slid back in between her legs, kissing each thigh as she spread them further apart. Jess proceeded to spend the entire night worshipping Rey with her mouth and fingers, each lick and vibrating pulse sending a newly discovered wave of pleasure tidaling through her. Rey's first orgasm came fast, hard and without warning, serving to both alarm and awe her. The second, third and fourth were much more welcomed, but left her breathless each time; Jess loving every wrecked cry and short, tortured moan she brought forth from kissed swollen lips. Rey fell alseep that night with Jess spooning her from behind, hand still caressing in between her thighs as she drifted off into a restful sleep. 

 

A pleasant glimpse of a long forgotten dream.

 

Rey awoke the next morning naked and alone, head spinning as she fought to center herself. A slight panic arose in her then, a prickling of fear building in the pit of her stomach that vacated the moment the door to Jess' room opened with a gentle groan, Jess peering through with two mugs of steaming hot tea. Peppermint, Rey's nose detected, the scent refreshing as it roused her further awake. Jess grinned, dressed in a black blazer and a pair of black slacks. The red dresshirt underneath brought out the natural warmth in her cheeks.

 

“I decided to get ready for a work a little early,” she said, handing one mug to Rey as she settled back onto the bed. 

 

“Where do you work?” Rey asked.

 

“Campus bookstore,” she said, brushing a strand of hair behind Rey's ears before she, herself, could. “I wanted to cuddle and chat a bit before I had to go, though.”

 

“If you need me to go...”

 

“I will need you to go,” Jess said, interrupting her. “That doesn't mean I _want_ you to. That's why I put my number in your phone while you were sleeping, so you can send me cute texts throughout the day and I can tell you how much I want to murder everyone I work with.”

 

“That...sounds perfect, actually.”

 

“Good.”

 

Rey sat back as Jess went to make them some lastminute breakfast, what that entailed, Rey didn't know, but she looked forward to whatever it was. She smiled in disbelief, feeling happier than she had ever felt before. A smile on her face and laughter on her tongue. 

 

“I've got to text Finn.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
